Chapter Six: Into God’s Love - Haanel’s Conscious Exit

Nayaswami Anandi passed away peacefully at her home on Sunday morning, January 30th 2022. She was known for her natural warmth, humor, wisdom, and kindness. Almost since her arrival at Ananda in 1971 as a founding member of Ananda, she had been sharing the teachings of Paramhansa Yogananda. An Ananda minister since 1980, Anandi had directed and taught in many of Ananda's guest and outreach programs, including the Palo Alto Ananda Community, Ananda's membership training program, The Cooperative Living Training, and The Expanding Light. She was initiated as a Kriyacharya by Swami Kriyananda in 2011. Anandi also worked as an editor for Ananda's Crystal Clarity books. She edited the 7-book series of Yogananda's original teachings called The Wisdom of Yogananda, which includes How to Be Happy All the Time. Anandi was married to Nayaswami Bharat Cornell, the world-renowned nature educator, with whom she had facilitated nature workshops in Japan, and many parts of the United States and Europe.

~ Ananda Sangha Worldwide

Haanel

One of the very first Ananda members to die was Haanel Cassidy, in 1980. The Ananda Community started in 1968, and Haanel was there almost from the beginning. He was a perfectionist in everything he did, and dying was no exception. Although he was also a dear friend of mine, I’ll tell Haanel’s story primarily in the words of Anandi, who was by his side when he left the body.

~ Nayaswami Nalini

The Soul Gets What It Needs

The person dying is the one who focuses the energy around him. We get to ride along and be in the right place at the right time so that that particular soul can receive what it needs. My own strengths and weaknesses were used to help bring Haanel what he needed in those last days.

It was clear that Master was working on refining and purifying his spirit. There, on his deathbed, he was faced with challenges that required him to express certain qualities that needed strengthening: forgiveness, for example, to his estranged son, and the expression of greater love to those around him.

Here is how the former took place. At one point I called his daughter, whom Haanel adored, to come and be with him at the end. Haanel’s son, whom he had hated since the boy’s childhood, ended up coming as well. I tried to prevent it, knowing it would be awkward, but I wasn’t allowed to, because it was Haanel’s karma. And I got to watch him come to grips with it. Right there, with his body falling apart, he had to forgive his son. He had to ask his son’s forgiveness, and so it finally happened.

While the beloved daughter was inside with her father, the son would be stranded, sitting outside the house. It was sad. Arati or I would go out there and talk with the son. We were trying to make him feel better. As hard as it was for me to speak up, with Haanel so ill, I finally had to say, “Haanel, this isn’t fair. You’ve got to do something about your son.” Haanel never replied to my statement. He just worked on it. And then, finally, the day before he died, there was a breakthrough. I was sitting outside while Sylvia, the daughter, was inside.

Suddenly, Arati came out saying, “He wants to see his son.” And so the son, a great big man, came to the door. (He and Haanel had had a falling out when the boy was young. At some point Haanel had rejected his son and the son had felt a lot of anger in return.) The son came to the door. I said, “Haanel, here is your son. Here’s David.” And Haanel said, “I mean the little David.” And David understood. Haanel just wanted to say to that little child, “I’m sorry about what happened.” And it was communicated. Not long after that, Haanel died as he had lived, with great discipline and focus. One afternoon, after I had been with him about a month, Arati urgently called to me from his bedroom.

Blood had begun to well up from his throat. I ran to get Dr. Deborah, an Ananda physician living at the Meditation Retreat, who had been over seeing Haanel’s care. Telling him to keep his head to the side so that he wouldn’t choke, she began to draw the blood out of his mouth with a syringe-like instrument. This process went on for several minutes.

“Here I Go!”

Then with a strong look at Deborah, as if to say “Don’t touch me anymore,” Haanel rolled so that he was on his back again, and motioned for us to put his large picture of Master where he could see it more easily. He grabbed hold of the iron railing on the bed to focus his strength. He knew death was coming, and he wanted to meet it head on. It was as if he were saying, “Here I go!”